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Life is full of choices. Some reap immediate results, whether good or bad. Some aren’t so clear and often gets filed into that part of the head that plays “What if” scenarios. Then, there are those choices that leads to despair and regret, particularly when you know there is absolutely nothing you can do to reverse it. Choices leads us to form bonds –
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– of friendship,
– of good company,
– of loyalty,
– and of love.
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Some bonds are made to be as fragile as priceless porcelain at the brink of falling off a table and temporary as smoke in the wind. Some are so strong, it leaves a permanent mark, being branded until you breath your last.
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Such is life. Such is the case with dogs and cats.
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The desire to do charity, to show kindness has always been ingrained within me but until that desire is translated into action, it means very little in the greater picture. I’ve had my fair share of choices and today marks the day I made one that would forever change my life. I visited an animal shelter as a volunteer and came away learning more about the conditions of unwanted, unloved pets, some insights about myself and the society we live in.
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It was not the first time I stepped into an animal shelter. In many ways, an animal shelter is not much different from any other shelter; a roof above, food and water. The basic necessities to survive, to continue to exist. While the conditions of this particular shelter isn’t as deplorable as others that are used to house even humans, the lack of one other basic necessity is obvious; love. I have always considered myself to be a cat person, someone who has deeper affinity towards felines rather than canines but on hindsight, my preference probably stems from a childhood trauma of seeing a beloved dog being beaten repeatedly by my father until it passed away due to internal injuries at the age of 5. Since then, I have subconsciously built a wall, to distance myself from being hurt with such attachments. Which would explain why a shift of preference to cats who don’t really give a shit if you want to threaten one with violence; they just walk away when that happens.
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And so, armed with this assumption, one would have thought he would be immune to any form of emotional upheaval seeing unwanted dogs in a kennel. True enough, seeing a group of noisy dogs with their dog smell jumping around, seeking attention didn’t really bother me much. The plan was simple – go in, choose a leash, pass to the helpers and they’ll randomly pick a dog for you to walk. The walking distance isn’t far, probably around 800m per round. Good for self exercise while at the same time satiating that desire to make another being happy, albeit it’s “just” a dog.
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I was so wrong.
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The first dog selected for the walk was feisty, so eager to be out of the cage and just wanted to run. My earlier reservations about these dogs being unruly and possibly be a hazard to volunteers soon proved to be baseless. Her excitement was contagious and, if given a chance she would have probably run off to the moon since she looked fit enough to. Still, she responded well to my heeds and her appreciation of being allowed to run when I keep pace is palpable. And when it was 100 meters away from returning back to the shelter, she was digging her heels in, unwilling to return like a recalcitrant child being told it’s time to leave the playground. I had to literally drag her back in and thought this was what it’s like to be a sheltered stray – just run and don’t bother with anything else.
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This assumption was again proven wrong when I was handed the second dog to walk … and I almost died walking this one.
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She didn’t pull me the way the first one did but instead kept pace next to me. She didn’t want to run but instead was satisfied trotting along at the pace I set. I knew this must be pre-owned because she knew exactly what my commands were without me needing to give voice to them. She looked lean, her ears were always flattened like one would if subservient … of one that was probably abused when young. And every once in a while, she would look back at me, as if checking if what she’s doing is acceptable. Her eyes …. God, her eyes showed so much intelligence … and at the same time so much yearning for acceptance, like she has been trying her entire life to be loved. And the most heart wrenching feeling is she is selflessly doing this seeking that, not caring if she probably will not get to meet another kind soul to take her out to enjoy another good walk in the near future. Each time she stops, turns around and stares at me, the wave of emotion hits a raw nerve, like someone ripping your intestines out and callously stepping on it as if it’s nothing more than a pile of dirt, beneath his notice. And she is so well behaved, even to the point when we returned, she did not struggle but went along quietly to the helpers. I saw them remove the leash and saw her staring back at me, as if to say thank you and hope you have a nice day.
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Even as I sit here writing this, I am devastated at how something as simple as a dog would show so much selfless love to another being, despite being so wrongfully cast out. It made me re-evaluate the world as I see it, of how cruel this world can be. We are becoming a society of convenience … unlike our parents where any problems encountered in a marriage can be worked on and be made successful by sheer determination. No, we yearn for instant gratification, being less patient and sadly, less acknowledgement of the small, simple pleasures in life. A cute puppy brought home to a teenager would be given all the love and attention it ever wanted, it ever needed to grow. Then the puppy became an adult and so did the teenager, who fell in love, started a family and moved to a condo because we all know how expensive landed properties are these days. The attention shifts, the priorities change and the dog gets confused … he doesn’t understand why he no longer is the center of his master’s heart.
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Because his master is the center of his heart.
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Then came the day when he is taken to the shelter, surrendered by the owner who felt it was too troublesome to raise a pet. He is then put into a yard full of other dogs. He no longer has his sleeping bed. He no longer has his own bowl of food. He sleeps with strange dogs, some who’re not in their fittest of health. He is no longer the center of another person’s life .. he lost the very purpose of his entire life.
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And humans delude themselves into thinking it’s better this way. Sure, there are feelings of loss but there are more important things in life to focus on. I need to be focused on my own happiness and cannot afford to be held back by him. He’ll survive. He’ll adapt. He’ll get the food and care that we are not able to provide.
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You would be wrong. Because since the day you left him there, you have not gone back to check. Because if you did, you would see a very different being you grew up with, not only physically but mentally as well.
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Imagine someone being blind all his life, and you came and gave him sight. To see colours for the first time in his life, so see shapes of objects around him … to catch with clarity the face of the person who loved him the way no other being ever did.
Imagine someone deaf all his life, and you came and gave him hearing. To listen to the sound of birds chirping, to hear the intriguing sound of a cat hissing nearby … to perceive the sound of the heartbeat of his loved one being excited to see him as they hug him.
Imagine someone not being able to smell, and you came and restored that to him. To sniff at the rich aroma of the world around him, to inhale the fragrance of flowers and leaves … to gain comfort in the scent of his loved one as she falls asleep next to him.
Imagine someone not being able to touch, and you came and gave kinaesthetic ability. To feel the ground under his paws and the rubble of vehicles moving by, to feel warmth under a hot sun and the chill of the night …. to enjoy the caress and touch of his loved one as she comes home from work.
Imagine someone not being able to taste, and you came and gave him the sense of flavor. To savour the tang of a tennis ball as it bounces away from his mouth, to distinguish the pleasures of a healthy diet and rotten food … to lick the face of his loved one and perceive the sweet sweat that comes from her pores.
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Now imagine you took it all away …
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…. without looking back.
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The world will never be the same for the dog …. because the world has been taken away from him. If you had saved him as a stray, sheltered, nurtured, and loved him before casting him out again, do you believe he can adapt and accept life the way it was before meeting you? If only life was so simple.
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In the short time I spent in the shelter, I could sense each animal’s hope, mixed with resignation. It is all so very sad and it breaks my heart to the point when I realise as humans, each of us has the capacity to choose how to live our lives; whether to wallow in misery or to climb yourself out of a ditch and try at something again. What would you do if you are the target of scorn and distrust? When love was so freely shown and given, only to be cruelly taken away and your life is constantly at risk of being run down by an inattentive motorist or insensitive, sadistic people. Is it a life so simple to adapt?
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All the evening strolls in the park together …
The moments when both of you being silly and ran in the rain together …
The times when you bath him, scrubbing him clean of the day’s grime …
The times when you feel depressed and he offers comfort by sitting down quietly, keeping you company …
The places that you visit together, discovering ice cream and new food …
The evening cuddles and tackles, staring deep into each others eyes and find honest reflection of each other’s soul ….
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To you, they’re all just sweet memories of a past you shared, an echo of good times, a memory of growing together. They’re all there, filed away in your mind as you create new ones in the new life you have chosen. To him, it was the loss of everything that ever really truly mattered.
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If you have done this, imagine this … imagine for a minute you understood and open yourself to the at-one-time life partner and soulmate and realise he knows he is no longer the focus of your life. And he tells you that he understands and wishes you all the happiness in the world as you have once shown him. That he understands he is no longer required to fulfil a function he thought he could until his end of days and chooses to leave your life so that you can be happy with the choices you have made. Would you feel anything? Would you just carry on as you did?
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It is, no matter what at the end of the day … your choice. And we all live with our choices, for better or for worse.
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If this article has moved you to want to do something about it, here’s some useful tips:-
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- Most of the animals found in shelters are vetted by professionals. Nevertheless, it’s best to practice proper hygiene by washing your hands and any body parts you might have in contact when handling them
- Any animal shelters can use your contribution. Contact the nearest/most convenient one to see how you can contribute. If you’re not sure which one to contact or if you know of any shelters in need of volunteers, please share in the comments section below.
- Contributions need not necessarily be monetary in nature. Some makes food for the animals but please check with the caretakers what type of food and how to prepare them that’s best for them. You may also offer your time and energy, as I did to walk and exercise the dogs.
- Go with friends! Spread the cheer and think of it as another activity you guys can do together.
- Don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable. Relax and in most cases, it’s the dogs leading you rather than you leading them around.
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I hope this little article has touched you in a manner that would inspire you to volunteer and share with others. The world can always use more kindness and love.
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